Openness and Brokenness

16 Aug

DSC_0005Wow – what a weekend! I’m tired and drained! In some respects, I wish I can say that the three day single’s conference in Indianapolis was filled with praise and encouragement and joy alone but it wasn’t. Now please don’t get me wrong, it was an encouragement to my heart and soul but God used it in a whole different way than I would have ever anticipated.

We arrived Thursday afternoon after a great time of fellowship in the car with a few friends. We sang, talked, laughed, shared a good meal, and even made a stop at a dairy farm for some homemade ice cream. That was an experience! While we were there , some of us decided to stop by the birthing barn. Oh dear! Talk about a shock of a lifetime – haha! I can’t believe I sat there and watched a calf be born. I’m not sure if I scarred myself for life or was just educated in an area that I hope to forget about very soon. As I sat there squinting through half closed eyes and gasping in shock and horror, I’m happy to say that at least I saw a new life enter the world – yes, it was a cow, but still! I guess it’s one thing I can check off  my “things to do in my lifetime” list – well, that is if I even had one!  🙂

Anyway to get back to the matter at hand, the Speeds opened the conference with a session by Mr. Gothard. He spoke on the matter of “Recognizing Unclean Spirits”.  Afterwards, it was great getting to meet new people and others that I have heard so much about. We settled into our rooms for the evening and I was thrilled when the door opened I saw a dear friend who I have come to know via the blogosphere and realized that she would be rooming with a few of us girls. The Lord works in amazing ways!

Friday was the day of “death”. At least that’s what the Speeds called it. They presented some heavy-duty teaching on what it is to live an open and broken life before Christ and man. Discussions on topics such as living the “High Road vs. Low Road”, taking personal responsibility, walking in freedom, identifying strongholds, believing lies, breaking soul-ties, etc. Both Friday and Saturday brought a flood of emotions over my soul. We heard couple’s testimonies of how the Lord restored relationships that were a mess and on the brink of disaster. Even after past failures, immorality, adultery, etc – these couples depended on the grace and power of God to forgive, be honest, rebuild and edify, and be unreservedly open and broken with each other.

As I sat there, my heart sank. Though I haven’t experienced situations quite like that, I have greatly desired to see a reconciliation over things in my past relationship but could not at that time and cannot. Yet, I reminded myself that God knows best and has things under His control and I have to lay my desires at the foot of the cross. Who am I to question God? I may not understand all things in life and yes I may mess up many times but it is amazing to believe that there is nothing I can do that will ever rob me of the love of Jesus. I am unreservedly His!

Saturday afternoon, I just got alone in my room and cried to the Lord. It was a precious time. I knew He understood all my emotions and thoughts – even though I didn’t. I read through many chapters of Jeremiah and then I wanted to read a Psalm to comfort my heart. I asked the Lord where I should read and I was impressed with Psalm 86. I underlined verse after verse as I saw the Lord’s goodness and how His mercy extends to me (despite my sin and weaknesses) and He will cause me to rejoice because He is a God full of compassion, gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth. Even though a marred vessel I may be, He is the Potter that takes vessels as makes them new as seems good to Him (Jer. 18:4).

That evening was like no other. Each of our teams gathered together and prayed. Afterwards, we all quietly filed to the auditorium to partake in the Lord’s table while hearing the sweet sounds of “How Beautiful”. We entered a candle-lit room where a large cross stood in the middle. Small tables with drapery, candles, and the elements were at different places. We knelt and prayed and glorified the Saviour for His love and forgiveness. Some began crying, some weeping, and some just sobbed as the Lord opened hearts and touched each one of us. Confessions were made, forgiveness was sought, voices were lifted up in prayer, adoration, song, and cries. It was a time like no other. The presence of God was very real and felt. It was a sobering experience and everyone took as much time as needed as they sought the Lord. Beginning at 10:30, it lasted through the night. Some trickled out quietly to rest for the evening while others labored in prayer and lifted their voices in praise. There were still young people seeking the Lord at 4 AM the next day. Truly, God is raising up a generation that is going to change the world for His glory – praise be to His name!

Sunday brought much encouragement as we learned many vital truths: 1.) Marriage is all about being a giver and not a taker. 2.) It is to advance the ministry, vision, and calling of your spouse. 3.) Marriage is not about convenience but about commitment. 4.) As a lover, one never falls out of love only repentance. 5.) Needy people marrying needy people end up in disaster. 6.) When we give someone the power to validate us, we also give them the power to destroy us.

My heart is digesting a lot and I hope to put what I have learned into an everyday practice. I thank the Lord for the privilege of being able to go and partake in seeking His face with 250 young people who are learning to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength.


(a skit illustrating taking baggage into a marriage)


a jam-packed auditorium


another skit that gave everyone the smiles! 🙂


Mr. G teaching


A photographer friend I’ve met a few times and finally got a picture with!



9 Responses to “Openness and Brokenness”

  1. Lisa August 17, 2009 at 1:32 pm #

    Wow, that looks like a rich conference! (As in a lot to digest!) So glad you were able to be edified and encouraged like that; sounds like it was amazing!

  2. Felicia August 17, 2009 at 2:04 pm #

    Sara I know what you mean when you say it wasn’t quite what you were expecting. Same with me, and it was way better than I ever had imagined! I am so thankful I was able to go! It was great to see you too!

  3. Robin Parry August 17, 2009 at 3:56 pm #

    Wow Sara, it sounds great! I can’t wait to see you and talk with you in person and hear all about this and the other things you’ve been doing. Love your new picture and heading, too, btw! 🙂 LLOL

  4. !April Olivia! August 18, 2009 at 7:15 pm #

    Sara, WOW what a wondeful time you must of had. It is such a blessing to read about all that is going on!! I can’t wait to see you!!! 🙂 🙂

  5. Anna August 22, 2009 at 1:03 pm #

    Hello Sara! My mom saw your posting on this conference you recently attended….and forwarded on that website of “Whatever It Takes” ministry. I was floored when I begin reading the testimonies… I’m beginning to see a whole different perspective about the function and purpose of marriage in connection with humility and openness. I thank God for parents in my life that had discernment to help me break off my engagement with a young man when they sensed there was something “not right” even though none of us could exactly pinpoint the problem at the time.

    I realize that conference you attended is already past, but I hope they’ll do it again someday and maybe I can attend. I’ve been blessed even just through their website and some of the articles written. (Ultimately it’s the Word of God, but He often uses people and circumstances in bringing home some of the truth in ways I have not realized.)

    God Bless dear sister,


  6. Leanne August 28, 2009 at 1:45 pm #

    Dear Sara,
    What an encouraging post. I was given a second chance at marriage after an adultery situation took place in my first marriage. That divorce brought me to my knees and to the Lord. I was so blessed to marry someone who went through exactly what I went through. We have used our marriage many times to encourage others in similiar situations.
    Thank you for sharing!
    By the way, we live half way between Fair Oaks Dairy and Indianapolis. I wasn’t brave enough to go through the “birthing barn”! Its a fun place, though!
    I love your blog!

  7. Jana August 29, 2009 at 11:07 am #

    Hey Sara,
    I am also friends with Sara Quinnet! The ALERT cadets…the program in which my brother is involved.. are pretty much “stationed” at North Belt…Sara’s church. SUCH A SMALL WORLD!
    Miss you tons and praying for you.
    God Bless,

  8. Sara Q September 7, 2009 at 11:30 am #

    Sara, I was so great being able to see you again at the WIT conf! If you’re in Houston please let me know!;)

  9. breakingman June 20, 2012 at 10:24 pm #

    Reblogged this on Walk In Brokenness and commented:
    This is from three years ago after the WIT! Singles conference in Indianapolis. I love what Sara has to say!

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