Dealing with Hurts Pt. 1

7 Jan

As a young child, I was blessed to have parents that protected me and loved me. They would try their utmost to prevent situations that would be hurtful or damaging, they kept a close eye on friends to be sure they wouldn’t lash out with words that could be devastating, they nurtured me in a greenhouse type of environment, they always sought my best. They tried all that was within their power to protect me, as much as they could. They cherished me, and kept a keen look-out for me, and still do. 

However, as we grow up and become adults, we take on more of life. We have more responsibility, we start making our own decisions, meet new people, and form new relationships. As a result, we make ourselves vulnerable to people’s words, actions, reactions, and even expectations. We walk into situations that take much needed grace sometimes because it’s not at all what we expected. We end up learning how to deal with issues, hurts, and offences that arise day to day in the home and in the world.

One fact has always been true and that is you can’t change people. We can’t change them, we can’t demand apologies, we can’t expect them to fulfill our expectations, and we can’t even always rectify hurtful situations if the other party is unresponsive and unrepentant. Ultimately, they are responsible before God for themselves – and it is God who will do the judging, if need be. We alone are responsible for how we respond to them, the unfolding of events, and the hurts we have been crushed with. 

Why Are We Hurt?

First of all, we live in a fallen world. “For in many things we offend all.” James 3:2. We, as brothers and sisters in Christ, are sinners even though saved by grace. We continually fall short of the glory of God. We often give in to the power of the flesh and what makes us feel good at the moment to appease our frustrations, anger, hurt, and pride. We do the things that we don’t want to do and keep from doing that which we should do, as explained by Paul in the New Testament. 

More importantly, though, God allows hurts to come. These hurts smooth out the “rough edges” around our lives – the edges of irritation, rudeness, self-centeredness, etc. These hurts can be used to either draw us closer to the Lord for strength and grace or draw us further away in self-pity and resentment. They teach us what it is to lay down our lives for others and become a living sacrifice. They help us understand more clearly the love that Christ showed when He gave His all on the cross to save us when we were at enmity with Him – “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends”. Hurts bring new opportunities for Christ-likeness to be seen in us and flow out of us when we don’t have any strength but to live unto ourselves and gratify our flesh. They provide more powerful demonstrations of what true forgiveness is all about and what it is to be walking in the Spirit not fulfilling the lusts of the flesh.

Consequences of the Offender:

There is a great warning to those who offend in word or deed. As I mentioned above, hurts and offences will come because we live in a sinful world, but Matthew 18:7 says: “Woe to that man by whom the offence cometh.” Not only will there be great repercussions from the offence but God will judge righteously. He is the all-knowing God, pure, and holy and He is the rewarder of good and evil. 

If we decide to take matters into our own hands and judge our offender, we will end up causing more damage to the heart because we are judging the situation from a marred perception – only seeing our side and pointing out the other’s faults. When hurt, it is so much harder to think the best of others or to give them the benefit of the doubt. 

…..to be continued

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One Response to “Dealing with Hurts Pt. 1”

  1. Vanessa January 22, 2009 at 11:54 am #

    Sara,
    This post (and whole article) was great! Thank you so much for posting it… it’s a blessing and a help to what I am currently facing. thank you for letting God use you!!
    Hugs,
    Vanessa

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